She's still all but gaping at him, struggling to put words even together into sentences. Struggling to put them, and her face, and her reaction into any specific box. Making the muscles in his shoulders, between his shoulder blades and down his back, stay at fiercely tensed. Making it too easy, and too pointless. Dropping his keys not far from the door, and looking at the house.
The house that he'd almost let himself forget for a second there, and what did that say about him? What did any of it?
When Cath is tripping on words, like good, and he's not even sure she'd keep that word if she knew it was Danny. Rules are rules. Even if the concept of turning back now, even if it would easier to run through a burning building while it was falling. Rules are still rules. He's pretty sure that glaring confusion would spike rather suddenly sharp if that came up. When? If?
He walked further into the room, raising a hand and rubbing his mouther, before it slid back across his jaw, wrapped at his neck, hard, holding for a second, fingers curled over locked muscles. "It wasn't, exactly, planned."
Danny. Nothing about Danny from twisting the man's arm behind his back, to these feelings, to the things he'd done because of it that he was never going to admit to anyone, to doing everything anything for him if it was needed even if the rest was never seen, to Danny suddenly saying all those things.
Right here. In this room. And everything that exploded in a chain of reactions from there. One that kept going.
It wasn't like he knew this would happen either. This morning. Cath being here, and everything feeling....normal. Normal for a few minutes, even when bricks of thought tripped up his feet every few minutes. Normal in the way he wanted to push everything out and get lost in. Just for an hour or five or a day and half. Before there had to be hospitals, and back to Headquarters.
But even that is slipping away, second by second, heart beat by heart beat, when he's looking back toward her, because if anything he doesn't know how to avoid the glaring crashes coming right for his life. Doesn't know how not to keep adding each new one to his hands, like they aren't already full and overflowing. Like this subject, this situation with Danny, wasn't headed for three or four hard collisions with reality.
Anymore than the whole world focusing on Danny, again, makes Steve feel like something else is missing from here. Him.
no subject
The house that he'd almost let himself forget for a second there, and what did that say about him? What did any of it?
When Cath is tripping on words, like good, and he's not even sure she'd keep that word if she knew it was Danny. Rules are rules. Even if the concept of turning back now, even if it would easier to run through a burning building while it was falling. Rules are still rules. He's pretty sure that glaring confusion would spike rather suddenly sharp if that came up. When? If?
He walked further into the room, raising a hand and rubbing his mouther, before it slid back across his jaw, wrapped at his neck, hard, holding for a second, fingers curled over locked muscles. "It wasn't, exactly, planned."
Danny. Nothing about Danny from twisting the man's arm behind his back, to these feelings, to the things he'd done because of it that he was never going to admit to anyone, to doing everything anything for him if it was needed even if the rest was never seen, to Danny suddenly saying all those things.
Right here. In this room. And everything that exploded in a chain of reactions from there. One that kept going.
It wasn't like he knew this would happen either. This morning. Cath being here, and everything feeling....normal. Normal for a few minutes, even when bricks of thought tripped up his feet every few minutes. Normal in the way he wanted to push everything out and get lost in. Just for an hour or five or a day and half. Before there had to be hospitals, and back to Headquarters.
But even that is slipping away, second by second, heart beat by heart beat, when he's looking back toward her, because if anything he doesn't know how to avoid the glaring crashes coming right for his life. Doesn't know how not to keep adding each new one to his hands, like they aren't already full and overflowing. Like this subject, this situation with Danny, wasn't headed for three or four hard collisions with reality.
Anymore than the whole world focusing on Danny, again, makes Steve feel like something else is missing from here. Him.