There are a lot of sharp shards of everything in her head right now, but they all get locked away at the tone in Steve's voice, the way he looks at her, almost helpless, gagged by something far harder to loose than a rag or a towel or tape. "Why would you say that? That's hardly optimistic."
Gently sympathetic, with a side helping of the kind of support she's rusty at doling out, at least like this, and not at a bar over some tequila or in someone's bunk. And, everything else aside, her own jealousy and surprise and bafflement, she hates the look that camps across his face, like it's already over, the ax has already fallen. Like he's already bracing himself for the end, even if it only just got started.
So it means something, whatever this is with whoever it's with. More than just pushing her away. It's something he's already afraid of losing, already sure will be lost, and he's still trying to make sure he doesn't actively screw it up. Which makes her feel a little bad about assuming -- about trying -- but she didn't know, and he hasn't been acting any differently towards her. So there's a touch of wryness in her smile, but it's gentle, all the same. "You know, usually I don't worry too much when you can't tell me things, but I have to say, I worry a little when you can't give me a name or a clue."
The only reason she can think of for that is that she does know who it is, and Steve has a reason for trying to keep it from her, which means he probably thinks she'd disapprove, in some way, and she's teasing, a little, now, but she's also more serious than she'd admit as she goes on.
"It's not blackmail or anything, right? Classified, government secret?"
Just tell her it's nothing bad. That his reticence isn't due to some kind of career-ending mishap, or international incident. That no one's putting pressure on him from the outside, and it's half a joke, because the idiot who would try that on Steve is the idiot about to lose use of his fingers, or lungs.
But if it's not from the outside, then it's from the inside, and that...that is a ballpark she's not sure she wants to look too closely at.
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branchandroot
(no subject)
Date: 2013-02-03 11:44 pm (UTC)There are a lot of sharp shards of everything in her head right now, but they all get locked away at the tone in Steve's voice, the way he looks at her, almost helpless, gagged by something far harder to loose than a rag or a towel or tape. "Why would you say that? That's hardly optimistic."
Gently sympathetic, with a side helping of the kind of support she's rusty at doling out, at least like this, and not at a bar over some tequila or in someone's bunk. And, everything else aside, her own jealousy and surprise and bafflement, she hates the look that camps across his face, like it's already over, the ax has already fallen. Like he's already bracing himself for the end, even if it only just got started.
So it means something, whatever this is with whoever it's with. More than just pushing her away. It's something he's already afraid of losing, already sure will be lost, and he's still trying to make sure he doesn't actively screw it up. Which makes her feel a little bad about assuming -- about trying -- but she didn't know, and he hasn't been acting any differently towards her. So there's a touch of wryness in her smile, but it's gentle, all the same. "You know, usually I don't worry too much when you can't tell me things, but I have to say, I worry a little when you can't give me a name or a clue."
The only reason she can think of for that is that she does know who it is, and Steve has a reason for trying to keep it from her, which means he probably thinks she'd disapprove, in some way, and she's teasing, a little, now, but she's also more serious than she'd admit as she goes on.
"It's not blackmail or anything, right? Classified, government secret?"
Just tell her it's nothing bad. That his reticence isn't due to some kind of career-ending mishap, or international incident. That no one's putting pressure on him from the outside, and it's half a joke, because the idiot who would try that on Steve is the idiot about to lose use of his fingers, or lungs.
But if it's not from the outside, then it's from the inside, and that...that is a ballpark she's not sure she wants to look too closely at.