Like he knows the way the waves roll in and the waves roll out. Like he can figure out any gun set in his hands in seconds.
This is a door he can't open, even look at, not if he can, at all, possibly still close it. Hands are finding both sides of his jaw, his cheeks, his face, and Danny's looking down at him with this bewildered, bright fragileness. Danny. With his heart on his shoulder. Danny, who is the most loyal and determined, and easily hurt person he may have ever met.
Cradling his face like it hasn't been beaten dozens on dozens of times. Like it's something precious. Like maybe he's fragile.
Something he's can't look away from, no matter how scary this all might be, too. And it is. He saw those faces earlier.
And, god, maybe he is. Because even if he can do all those things he can do, when Danny lowers his face. Slow. So slow. So slow it's like his eyes catch every inch, without Danny looking away, every line on the pads of his fingers, the smallest breath in between those lips, before they are touching him, and every crack, every fracture through him, and there are so many, god, there so so many, ache.
Like he could shatter on this single press of lips.
Not the yelling. Not watching Danny get wrecked over and over, again. Not waiting. Not being alone in Asia. Not Delano, or Wo Fat, or Doris. This single second. When the slide of lips. Not rough, not deep, but so lasting it feels like everything else is falling out of him. And he knows. Of course he knows. He belongs to all his people, and they belong to him. All of them, family. Respect. Trust. Loyalty. Love.
But with Danny it's always been more, and this year. These weeks. He knows. He knows, like he knows the sound of his blood when it's leaving his body, like all of his will is trying. Except he knows the rest, too. He knows that face on his doorway, and the one on his front yard, and he knows that he can't ever say it, not even think them, not name this feeling thats throbbing through everything, unless he knows he isn't going to earn that face Danny showed him tonight.
And he might. He really might. It's more likely than any single thing happening right now. He never stays. He's not this. It's not even twelve real days. So he's not going to think it, not going to say, not if there's a single chance he could just be one more of those people fucking Danny over and breaking him a little more, because Danny never stops them, Danny wouldn't stop him, even if he can't stop it, stop himself.
It doesn't matter beside that. It doesn't matter at all. He doesn't.
And that, isn't that odd for his life, especially after this week and Doris, is it?
He's just going to shift. Reach a hand up, fingers into Danny's hair and shift. Shift. Twist and turn sideways, facing Danny and drag them both down. Like the wind and waves, like an under tow. Put that feeling into the way his lips move, slow and definitive, against Danny's, unable to keep that to himself ever, and keep it at that. Danny is here, again, finally, and Danny wants to be with him. And he wants that, wants Danny.
That's enough for today. Maybe enough for forever if it has to be. Maybe he can break everything else. But not Danny.
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Like he knows the way the waves roll in and the waves roll out. Like he can figure out any gun set in his hands in seconds.
This is a door he can't open, even look at, not if he can, at all, possibly still close it. Hands are finding both sides of his jaw, his cheeks, his face, and Danny's looking down at him with this bewildered, bright fragileness. Danny. With his heart on his shoulder. Danny, who is the most loyal and determined, and easily hurt person he may have ever met.
Cradling his face like it hasn't been beaten dozens on dozens of times. Like it's something precious. Like maybe he's fragile.
Something he's can't look away from, no matter how scary this all might be, too. And it is. He saw those faces earlier.
And, god, maybe he is. Because even if he can do all those things he can do, when Danny lowers his face. Slow. So slow. So slow it's like his eyes catch every inch, without Danny looking away, every line on the pads of his fingers, the smallest breath in between those lips, before they are touching him, and every crack, every fracture through him, and there are so many, god, there so so many, ache.
Like he could shatter on this single press of lips.
Not the yelling. Not watching Danny get wrecked over and over, again. Not waiting. Not being alone in Asia. Not Delano, or Wo Fat, or Doris. This single second. When the slide of lips. Not rough, not deep, but so lasting it feels like everything else is falling out of him. And he knows. Of course he knows. He belongs to all his people, and they belong to him. All of them, family. Respect. Trust. Loyalty. Love.
But with Danny it's always been more, and this year. These weeks. He knows. He knows, like he knows the sound of his blood when it's leaving his body, like all of his will is trying. Except he knows the rest, too. He knows that face on his doorway, and the one on his front yard, and he knows that he can't ever say it, not even think them, not name this feeling thats throbbing through everything, unless he knows he isn't going to earn that face Danny showed him tonight.
And he might. He really might. It's more likely than any single thing happening right now. He never stays. He's not this. It's not even twelve real days. So he's not going to think it, not going to say, not if there's a single chance he could just be one more of those people fucking Danny over and breaking him a little more, because Danny never stops them, Danny wouldn't stop him, even if he can't stop it, stop himself.
It doesn't matter beside that. It doesn't matter at all. He doesn't.
And that, isn't that odd for his life, especially after this week and Doris, is it?
He's just going to shift. Reach a hand up, fingers into Danny's hair and shift. Shift. Twist and turn sideways, facing Danny and drag them both down. Like the wind and waves, like an under tow. Put that feeling into the way his lips move, slow and definitive, against Danny's, unable to keep that to himself ever, and keep it at that. Danny is here, again, finally, and Danny wants to be with him. And he wants that, wants Danny.
That's enough for today. Maybe enough for forever if it has to be. Maybe he can break everything else. But not Danny.