The second bite goes and down, more like cardboard than fully flavored gravy, yolk, filling food he's finishing. When there's no glance up for the question, not even a twinge of an expression flicker. It goes right on over, like maybe it wasn't a bomb. Like maybe it was wind. Closing the box, and leaning back, like it might have been nothing.
Except that it's not nothing in his face. It's just not rolling out a red carpet. Danny hadn't asked that question. At least not that he could remember. He'd said a lot of other words, and so had Steve, depending on the when and where. Even words he wasn't going to acknowledge ever escaped him.
He considered it, and tossed out a wry answer, as he slid back the chair, scraping chair legs on the floor and standing, to go throw away his empty box, "I could still make muster in three-" He paused, considering. "-maybe two, minutes."
The world falls apart and other things still hold. Other things trained deeper than skin, breath, and awareness. Maybe he couldn't keep it from getting everywhere in his head. But that didn't mean he had to give it everything. Or that he could. Even if he couldn't. It didn't mean he wanted to consider it. The worst of it got last night. Maybe it would again tonight.
But not this morning, and it wouldn't get to have now, while Cath was here. That really was enough for him to hold on to.
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branchandroot
(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-20 03:29 pm (UTC)Except that it's not nothing in his face. It's just not rolling out a red carpet. Danny hadn't asked that question. At least not that he could remember. He'd said a lot of other words, and so had Steve, depending on the when and where. Even words he wasn't going to acknowledge ever escaped him.
He considered it, and tossed out a wry answer, as he slid back the chair, scraping chair legs on the floor and standing, to go throw away his empty box, "I could still make muster in three-" He paused, considering. "-maybe two, minutes."
The world falls apart and other things still hold. Other things trained deeper than skin, breath, and awareness. Maybe he couldn't keep it from getting everywhere in his head. But that didn't mean he had to give it everything. Or that he could. Even if he couldn't. It didn't mean he wanted to consider it. The worst of it got last night. Maybe it would again tonight.
But not this morning, and it wouldn't get to have now, while Cath was here. That really was enough for him to hold on to.