He won't apologize for the comment. He has no regret for it. It served him at the time. The rest of it being things he hadn't thought Danny needed or wanted to know. And if anything, he's closer to wondering if he hadn't would this have all started sooner. Could he have drawn this all out of Danny himself? Would it still have been like this, if it hadn't been Danny in his living, being so glaringly honest Danny would never even see it for the kind of bravery it was?
Or would it have all just ended that much sooner? Would he be on the other side of it, with his only knowledge of it looking back?
When Steve's not ready to be looking back. Not ready for however this whole thing ends. Or what it takes with it when it goes.
"If?" It stumbles out of his mouth, more frustrated challenge than resignation, before he can press it flat enough in his mouth. Make it slide down his throat and get caught in the fist that's presently holding all of his intestine. Somewhere under Danny's other arm, resting on him.
When he knows, has, holds, too many of those himself. Every single thing that is not Danny, right here in front of him feels like it fills up that words. Every option, that involves any step from this one where they are at this very second, that could slam a dead end at them without warning. Every single part of this house, looming everywhere, that could have had another life, almost thirty years ago.
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branchandroot
(no subject)
Date: 2013-03-01 10:59 pm (UTC)Or would it have all just ended that much sooner? Would he be on the other side of it, with his only knowledge of it looking back?
When Steve's not ready to be looking back. Not ready for however this whole thing ends. Or what it takes with it when it goes.
"If?" It stumbles out of his mouth, more frustrated challenge than resignation, before he can press it flat enough in his mouth. Make it slide down his throat and get caught in the fist that's presently holding all of his intestine. Somewhere under Danny's other arm, resting on him.
When he knows, has, holds, too many of those himself. Every single thing that is not Danny, right here in front of him feels like it fills up that words. Every option, that involves any step from this one where they are at this very second, that could slam a dead end at them without warning. Every single part of this house, looming everywhere, that could have had another life, almost thirty years ago.