That is nearly insulting. Of course, he's thought about it. Like any eventuality. Like it doesn't scream in his head all time. Especially after what happened the night he sent Kono and Danny undercover for the K&R case. Of course, he thinks about. Of course, he's aware, he almost blew everything, broke everything open. Right on Danny's head and didn't give a fucking damn.
When the rest of the time he can't stop himself from giving a damn about every single possible fall apart.
"Of course, I have." Comes out sharper and faster this time. More angry that she could think there was a way he wasn't. And, god, it shoots out brutal and a little fuck it all, if they're going to to play this game. The rest of it. Words he has never said to Danny. Barely lets himself think to himself.
"If it happened-" And he hopes it won't, but he won't even let himself cling to the idea it won't. He shook his head, teeth clenching. "I'd do anything to make sure it falls on them as little as possible. I'd offer to stand down, and all that comes with it." Even though the entire idea of show throat to Dennings is like swallowing acid.
The idea of walking away from Danny, even for Danny, is unbearable. But he'd do it. He'd get down on the ground to protect them, to protect Danny.
"It's not like the have other options." Which is thick, and maybe even sadistic-touched. He could still go back. Yeah. It might actually end up on his record there, if someone found out.
But they were unrelated. Mostly. In how they weren't. It would stick to his character. But he wasn't working full time for the Navy now. And he could still go back. None of the them had a back to go to. That they wanted or could love doing given enough force of will.Danny definitely didn't. He needed this job a little under how much he couldn't live without Grace.
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branchandroot
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Date: 2013-03-27 06:51 pm (UTC)When the rest of the time he can't stop himself from giving a damn about every single possible fall apart.
"Of course, I have." Comes out sharper and faster this time. More angry that she could think there was a way he wasn't. And, god, it shoots out brutal and a little fuck it all, if they're going to to play this game. The rest of it. Words he has never said to Danny. Barely lets himself think to himself.
"If it happened-" And he hopes it won't, but he won't even let himself cling to the idea it won't. He shook his head, teeth clenching. "I'd do anything to make sure it falls on them as little as possible. I'd offer to stand down, and all that comes with it." Even though the entire idea of show throat to Dennings is like swallowing acid.
The idea of walking away from Danny, even for Danny, is unbearable.
But he'd do it. He'd get down on the ground to protect them, to protect Danny.
"It's not like the have other options." Which is thick, and maybe even sadistic-touched.
He could still go back. Yeah. It might actually end up on his record there, if someone found out.
But they were unrelated. Mostly. In how they weren't. It would stick to his character. But he wasn't working full time for the Navy now. And he could still go back. None of the them had a back to go to. That they wanted or could love doing given enough force of will.Danny definitely didn't. He needed this job a little under how much he couldn't live without Grace.