If anything Danny turns vicious on a dime. All those muscles tightening like a spring, to counter balance what Steve was mostly sure, is half calculating not staying, a finger pointing in his chest. Only narrowly not his face. And somehow, it's not a fist. Which is what all Danny's body language is saying it should be. A flat out vicious attack, with that finger that doesn't even touch him, that should have been a fist to his jaw.
It might have honestly gone better for both of them if it was a a flat out punch. Instead he just points while Danny's voice geting thicker and angrier. Spouting words like wind finally -- finally? -- and so close Steve swears he can smell him. Mixed with the flowers, and the salt from the sea. Making his throat tighten and lips press on a flavor not even in his mouth.
And he wants to pull back. Violent, quickly. Away. Away from the hand pointing at him.
Aways from the fingers white knuckled into his bicep still.
Not because he couldn't take Danny. He's still relatively sure he could, technically, though Danny would give good and he'd walk away limping, if he was walking. No, it's every other impulse. Every other one, waking up, screaming bloody murder in the background, even when it's only a whisper. Only the uncertain, disability to shift his feet on a too wet surface. Like his balance might fail him if he can't shut it all down.
"It's not easier," Steve all but spat the word back. Nothing, nothing about leaving Danny alone with be easy. Easy was not the point. Not the point, when he's backhand Danny's hand out of the space in front of his chest with a wave of his own hand. "It's the right thing to do. You want to actually have a chance, don't you?"
It's an accusation that is as sharp as it isn't. He does. He's done everything he hates doing. He contracted a lawyer. Steve's caught him looking at houses on the government's dime, once or twice. Which he doesn't care about for that reason. They can do whatever between their work. But he does for this.
Danny's putting all his fucking ducks in a row so some board of people who don't even know him, will give him maybe twelve, cumulative, hours, across hallf a dozen unconnected months, of their time and decide something Steve knows. Implicitly. That Danny deserves everything. That he is the best cop and the best father Steve has ever seen. He should get to have more time with Grace. He should have the job, the life, whatever the hell he actually wants. He deserves it.
He shouldn't ever have to look the way he did a year ago. He can't be the next one to do that this time.
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branchandroot
(no subject)
Date: 2013-05-02 11:07 pm (UTC)It might have honestly gone better for both of them if it was a a flat out punch. Instead he just points while Danny's voice geting thicker and angrier. Spouting words like wind finally -- finally? -- and so close Steve swears he can smell him. Mixed with the flowers, and the salt from the sea. Making his throat tighten and lips press on a flavor not even in his mouth.
And he wants to pull back. Violent, quickly. Away. Away from the hand pointing at him.
Aways from the fingers white knuckled into his bicep still.
Not because he couldn't take Danny. He's still relatively sure he could, technically, though Danny would give good and he'd walk away limping, if he was walking. No, it's every other impulse. Every other one, waking up, screaming bloody murder in the background, even when it's only a whisper. Only the uncertain, disability to shift his feet on a too wet surface. Like his balance might fail him if he can't shut it all down.
"It's not easier," Steve all but spat the word back. Nothing, nothing about leaving Danny alone with be easy. Easy was not the point. Not the point, when he's backhand Danny's hand out of the space in front of his chest with a wave of his own hand. "It's the right thing to do. You want to actually have a chance, don't you?"
It's an accusation that is as sharp as it isn't. He does. He's done everything he hates doing. He contracted a lawyer. Steve's caught him looking at houses on the government's dime, once or twice. Which he doesn't care about for that reason. They can do whatever between their work. But he does for this.
Danny's putting all his fucking ducks in a row so some board of people who don't even know him, will give him maybe twelve, cumulative, hours, across hallf a dozen unconnected months, of their time and decide something Steve knows. Implicitly. That Danny deserves everything. That he is the best cop and the best father Steve has ever seen. He should get to have more time with Grace. He should have the job, the life, whatever the hell he actually wants. He deserves it.
He shouldn't ever have to look the way he did a year ago. He can't be the next one to do that this time.