Back to being steady, but his voice lacks the measured, tamped-down quality of earlier, because Steve isn't pushing him away anymore, isn't looking at him like he's standing twenty miles away. It's not an agreement, but it is acknowledgement, and he can't help feeling that's the best way to go about this, because a conversation might be rough, but it solves more than either yelling or kissing. "But that doesn't make you right, either."
It's not that simple. It's not that Steve can give him up for the good of the case, or even for Five-0, whether it's for him or for Steve or for Grace or Chin or Kono. This would still be there, even if Danny weren't in Steve's bed every other night, even if they didn't wind up here more often than they don't. It's not like calling it something different will change a damn thing about how Danny feels, like saying they're not involved will make it true.
He licks his lips, hands nearly at Steve's hips before he slides them back down. "Do you want me to go?"
Honestly, these are the parts he always hated most. The talks that could end so badly, the conversations that could spin wildly out of control and smack him in the face with loss. He hates them. Avoids them whenever possible, choosing to confront everything else that might possibly be going wrong, that he might have either enough control to fix or none whatsoever, because either option is better than feeling like he might crack this like an egg if it isn't handled correctly.
But it needs to happen. If Steve thought it once, he might think it again, and Danny just wants to know, okay, wants to understand, so he can make Steve understand that it's not an option, anymore, that there's no way in hell he's going to back down and let the shitstorm that blew into their lives wreck this, too.
So he asks, and ignores the clutch in his chest that says Steve might say yes. It's a risk he's going to have to take.
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branchandroot
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Date: 2013-05-04 08:52 pm (UTC)Back to being steady, but his voice lacks the measured, tamped-down quality of earlier, because Steve isn't pushing him away anymore, isn't looking at him like he's standing twenty miles away. It's not an agreement, but it is acknowledgement, and he can't help feeling that's the best way to go about this, because a conversation might be rough, but it solves more than either yelling or kissing. "But that doesn't make you right, either."
It's not that simple. It's not that Steve can give him up for the good of the case, or even for Five-0, whether it's for him or for Steve or for Grace or Chin or Kono. This would still be there, even if Danny weren't in Steve's bed every other night, even if they didn't wind up here more often than they don't. It's not like calling it something different will change a damn thing about how Danny feels, like saying they're not involved will make it true.
He licks his lips, hands nearly at Steve's hips before he slides them back down. "Do you want me to go?"
Honestly, these are the parts he always hated most. The talks that could end so badly, the conversations that could spin wildly out of control and smack him in the face with loss. He hates them. Avoids them whenever possible, choosing to confront everything else that might possibly be going wrong, that he might have either enough control to fix or none whatsoever, because either option is better than feeling like he might crack this like an egg if it isn't handled correctly.
But it needs to happen. If Steve thought it once, he might think it again, and Danny just wants to know, okay, wants to understand, so he can make Steve understand that it's not an option, anymore, that there's no way in hell he's going to back down and let the shitstorm that blew into their lives wreck this, too.
So he asks, and ignores the clutch in his chest that says Steve might say yes. It's a risk he's going to have to take.