"Won't," Danny returns, like it's any other argument, and Steve is just being difficult, because it is. Just any other argument. He can handle this. He can deal with it. It's fine, he's fine, Steve's fine, everything's fine. He's a grown man, he knew what he was getting into, asked for it with his eyes wide open.
It's fine. It's just new. Strange. Invasive? Strange. It's what he keeps coming back to. It can't get defined as good or bad yet. He has no idea if he liked it or not. It's just. Strange.
But this isn't. Steve prodding him. Bugging him. Dragging him around, pulling at him with the hand that's been snug under his side, and forcing Danny, making complaining noises, around and onto his other side. While Steve doesn't bother to move, so now there's a little more space, but it's still close. Close enough for legs and knees to bump up against each other. For him to feel the soft brush of Steve's breath against his cheek.
And now he does feel naked. After having been that way for the better part of an hour. It was easier when he didn't have to face Steve. When his eyes were closed, and he could at least pretend everything was -- no, everything is, fine. He doesn't need to pretend.
He just doesn't want to be looking Steve in the face, when he says so. It's not Steve's problem. He's not sure it's a problem at all. No one's saying it is, okay.
But he turns anyway, because Steve's pulling him, it's Steve asking him, and Steve never asks for anything, even when Danny bitches and tugs and pokes and rubs salt viciously into open wounds, sticks his big stupid foot in his big stupid mouth. Hand going automatically to Steve's side, under the sheets and blanket, even if he's not exactly sure what expression he should be wearing right now, so settles for harried. Which is easy. Won't give him away. With luck.
Because it's fine. He just needs to wrap his head around it. The idea. That's not so hard. People would kill to do what he just did with Steve. For Steve to want to do it to them. "Jesus, do you ever stop ordering people around?"
Bluster and bluffing, arguing back like he knows he's supposed to, around the sinking feeling in his chest that Steve is about to say something he won't like. Wanting that option to just not exist.
no subject
It's fine. It's just new. Strange. Invasive? Strange. It's what he keeps coming back to. It can't get defined as good or bad yet. He has no idea if he liked it or not. It's just. Strange.
But this isn't. Steve prodding him. Bugging him. Dragging him around, pulling at him with the hand that's been snug under his side, and forcing Danny, making complaining noises, around and onto his other side. While Steve doesn't bother to move, so now there's a little more space, but it's still close. Close enough for legs and knees to bump up against each other. For him to feel the soft brush of Steve's breath against his cheek.
And now he does feel naked. After having been that way for the better part of an hour. It was easier when he didn't have to face Steve. When his eyes were closed, and he could at least pretend everything was -- no, everything is, fine. He doesn't need to pretend.
He just doesn't want to be looking Steve in the face, when he says so. It's not Steve's problem. He's not sure it's a problem at all. No one's saying it is, okay.
But he turns anyway, because Steve's pulling him, it's Steve asking him, and Steve never asks for anything, even when Danny bitches and tugs and pokes and rubs salt viciously into open wounds, sticks his big stupid foot in his big stupid mouth. Hand going automatically to Steve's side, under the sheets and blanket, even if he's not exactly sure what expression he should be wearing right now, so settles for harried. Which is easy. Won't give him away. With luck.
Because it's fine. He just needs to wrap his head around it. The idea. That's not so hard. People would kill to do what he just did with Steve. For Steve to want to do it to them. "Jesus, do you ever stop ordering people around?"
Bluster and bluffing, arguing back like he knows he's supposed to, around the sinking feeling in his chest that Steve is about to say something he won't like. Wanting that option to just not exist.